Thursday, March 6, 2008

So I said to myself....

So I've been doing this online, live, book study with Oprah (we are really good friends) each Monday night for 13 weeks or something. The book is Eckart Tolle's "A New Earth." Eckart (another good friend) is a new age spiritual teacher. I find this new age stuff so interesting if you get through all the baloney and ethereal language. Unfortuanately, the first, live webcast did not work too well so last night I watched the recording of it. I have to say I think I will get much more from the live discussion than I am getting from the book so I'm glad Oprah is doing it.

Anyway, one thing came up in this discussion...it was about living in the present moment. What I took away from this part of the talk is that we all have these voices in our head...self talk, that can keep us in a negative, resentful, angry, or angst filled moment. Have you ever told someone, "So I said to myself...?" That is self talk. It is also that endless stream of conversation that goes on in your head with really no benefit.

What we have to do, according to Tolle, is to make peace with the present moment in order to get out of it. "What we resist...persists." For example, I am struggling with worry about my son going off to Madagascar for an internship. My mind keeps yelling all the things that can go wrong in my head. What Tolle says is that in order for me to stop being worried about this situation I have to accept the fact that he is going anyway, whether I worry or not. That is a given. My worrying will not change Steven's mind and it will not change his experience. So once I accept the fact that this is absolutely going to happen I can begin to let go of the worry and start to enjoy the process. "Change comes out of acceptance not resistance." I am working on this. I think it will take me a while but I am working on it.

I actually tried to do this on a smaller scale today while I was waiting in a long line at the deli counter. The deli-kid was moving as slow as molasses in winter. I started to get crazy, bouncing from one foot to the next, huffing and puffing. Then I remembered what I had learned. So I said to myself (I wasn't supposed to do that...no self talk) "Calm down and realize that this is just the way it is." Then I stopped my self-talk and just started to look at the stuff around me. I watched the people, gazed at the products and noticed all the colors in the store instead of focusing on all the things I had to do. I lived in the moment, not for the future. Before I knew it I was at the front of the line giving the kid my order without resentment or angst. But more importantly I was calm and and I had actually enjoyed the journey.

Well, I hope I have done service to Mr. Toole's (he likes when I call him that) thinking. And now my question for today is:

What is your relationship with the present moment?

5 comments:

abava said...

So much of what you said is what I do. I self talk very much. On my 1 hour+ ride home I think of all the things I need to do and I forget about all the beauty I am surrounded by while driving North on the Taconic. My husband Nick aways says, "you can't control the weather or the traffic" and "this to shall pass"..I try to look at all of the natural resources that God gave to us, the beauty that many of us are surrounded by and try to enjoy it. Being in the present is great since you must let go of the past, good or bad, and live in the present to enjoy your future. Many times we are (I am) surrounded by very negative, unhappy, greedy, and inconsiderate people. Sometimes you feel you are becoming a product of the environment you are surrounded by, or "if you can't beat them, join them". Then I have Nick (My Husband) who is always my sunshine and my rock. He makes my face smile, my life complete.

Hubster said...

Little exercises that Oprah and Eckart say to do are:
Take a flower or other thing from nature and just really look at it without naming what it is in your mind. Just examine it. But as you do that don't name it's parts or colors or shape or size in you self-take. Just, and I know this sounds so corny, just become one with it. The funniest thing happens. You feel tingles in your body. It's such a natural high!

Anonymous said...

wait.. you're friends with Oprah AND Joel Osteen writes to you? And you're married to Scott (whom you would consider renting out for a nominal fee)?

No wonder you live in the moment... the moment is pretty good. Of course, you deserve all good moments.

Hubster said...

You too can be friends with the rich and famous....just remember:

"If the shutters are closed, the sunlight cannot come in!"

Anonymous said...

I'm reading Tolle's book right now! It's so eye opening. Another great one about living in the present is The Power of Now, also by Tolle. I finished this one a few months ago...A New Earth is easier to get through in my opinion. - Katie